Stick To Your Principles (And Never Apologize)


I have declined from writing posts about this presidential election. My main reason is that I live in an area full of residents who practically worship our newly elected president. It has been almost five years since I came out as a gay man. After that, I never wanted to imagine that an elected official would try to overturn the successful efforts to say that the government cannot restrict me from my ultimate desire to marry someone who I love.

The United States of America has elected a man who has promised that he will overturn the landmark decision which ruled the Defense of Marriage Act Unconstitutional and pass a “religious freedom protection” act. I am in no mood to read article after article confirming those are indeed his intentions. Numerous social media posts have attempted to dismiss that our newly elected commander in chief could successfully roll back LGBT protections nationwide. Some of which have the audacity to scoff at my LGBT friends and think that we are “worrying too much.”

(Maybe you won’t “scoff” at me. But, probably have the temptation to dismiss the real fears of LGBT Americans as a result of Tuesday’s election.)

I would hate to jump to conclusions about anyone. But, the above comments are bound to come from people who claim to say they are “supportive” of me genuinely. To reiterate from my older posts, they know that I do not desire to marry a woman in some big church wedding. They are in complete denial of the fact that our newly elected commander in chief has promised to appoint Republican supreme court justices who will assist him in his efforts. These justices believe my lack of desire for a woman and a big church wedding automatically make me spawn of the devil. They say that such a truth does not make me any less of a human being who deserves love and respect. 

I am now laughably brought back to my memories of George Bush’s 2004 reelection. I was in sixth grade. We had a mock election. You can guess who the winner was. My classmates cheered when our principal made the announcement. Their expressions of joy, parroted from their parents, continued the bus ride home. My classmates stomped their feet and clapped their hands to the beat of Queen’s “We Will Rock You.” They kept singing “Kerry will be defeated.” I certainly take this election much more seriously than I did back in 2004. It may be true that nothing has happened yet. But, there is no saying that it won’t now that we have a man in power who strives to overturn the progress we have already made. 

Donald Trump and Mike Pence have both promised to stick to the above principles. I, however, am sticking to mine. My LGBT friends should strive to do the same. Do not apologize for it. I do not deny that it can be hard to separate oneself from people whom I have known for my entire life. My sexuality may not define everything about me. But, I now know they are not worth my time if they refuse to change their mind about this essential aspect of who I am as a person. 

Most importantly, be careful who you decide to invite into your life. It doesn’t matter if you are casually cruising on Grindr. It does not matter if you are searching for that beautiful woman or tall, handsome man to call sweetheart. I am not trying to say that you should be afraid of meeting new people. But, know that people can disguise themselves as LGBT friendly. They hide behind that title before turning around and causing real harm to some of our most vulnerable citizens. It is now critical to be aware of your surroundings and protect yourself if anyone tries to hurt you. 

The events of this week are not going to stop me from sticking to my principles of not allowing people to hinder my right to be who I am. That does not go without saying that our nation has increased the potential for some very dark times. The only thing we can do about that is to keep fighting. 

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