Good Friend vs. True Friend


Good Friend vs. True Friend

By: Derek Warren (My version of the poem by Neil Diamond)

A good friend will mail you a get well card when you are sick or injured.

A true friend will visit you and hand it to you in person.

A good friend will have sympathy for you when they see a bully harassing you in any way.

A true friend will confront the bully, and will make sure it never happens again.

A good friend will answer your phone calls at their convenience.

A true friend will talk to you anytime you need them.

A good friend will believe rumors people spread about you or himself.

A true friend will respond to gossip by saying something like “We’re rubber and you’re glue”.

A good friend will want gifts from you at his birthday party.

A true friend will think of your presence as a gift.

A good friend will come to your wedding ceremony.

A true friend will be your groomsman or bridesmaid.

A good friend will expect you to change for them.

A true friend will always like you for who you are.

A good friend makes jokes about topics you find sensitive.

A true friend knows just what makes you angry, and will never “go there”

A good friend will be with you until graduation.

A true friend will be with you until the end.

I wanted to write my version of this poem because even though I have written about my experiences with “friends” in the past, I still do have problems deciphering who my friends are.  The experiences I have written about, and have told other people have made me realize that “good friends” are people who come and go, but “true friends” are people who will always stick with you. I know people will make comments and ask questions like this:

“Why Are You So Quiet?”

“Why Don’t You Find Friends Your Own Age?”

“No More Talking About Fans”.

I have also come to realize that “true friends” are rare. They only come once or maybe twice in a lifetime, but that doesn’t mean one should be discouraged when they have a bad experience with a so called “good friend”. I have learned that there are jerks everywhere you go. It is best just to ignore them and go on with life, which I know it can be very hard for somebody with Asperger’s Syndrome. I speak from the heart when I say that. However, it is something you have to do. You will be a very unhappy person if you let rude people get to you all the time. I still do struggle with this. It’s not fun to be unhappy, because many of them end up becoming criminals.

I hope this inspired you to be more open minded and understanding of some of people in your life who are not who you consider “true friends”. It does feel like the world is small, but it’s really bigger than you think! I will have more posts coming soon.

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6 thoughts on “Good Friend vs. True Friend

  1. Finding a good friend is not a one event thing–you build a friendship by hanging out or talking with someone, over a period of time as you become more familiar with each other you will find you like each other. You probably can’t like someone right at first–maybe you’ll even think you most certainly don’t like a person. But give it a chance. Pay attention to overtures someone may be making to you–they may be trying to strike up a friendship with you. Show an interest in what they want to talk about–join their world for a little while–at least make them know you’re interested. And always remember to be positive–negative thinking and comments turn people off. Keep from bringing up things you don’t like–dwell on good things you’ve found interesting

  2. Very honest, and very true, Derek. Sometimes we rush to claim friends because of our own needs, rather than evidence of true friendship. Of course, we have to ask ourselves the same question: am I, or do I wish to be, a “good” friend, or a “true” friend to someone in return? One other sign of a true friend: they forgive.

    • Here is the original poem by Neil Diamond. I posted it on one of my earlier blog entries.

      A good friend will tell you what you want to hear.
      A true friend will always tell the truth.

      A good friend seeks to talk with you about your problems.
      A true friend seeks to help you with your problems.

      A good friend will be there for you all through school.
      A true friend will be there till the day you die.

      A good friend will bail you out of prison.
      A true friend will be sitting next to you saying
      “damn that was fun!”.

      A good friend brings a bottle of wine to your party.
      A true friend comes early to help you cook and stays late to help you clean.

      A good friend hates it when you call after they’ve gone to bed.
      A true friend asks you why you took so long to call.

      A good friend wonders about your romantic history.
      A true friend could blackmail you with it.

      A good friend thinks the friendship is over when you have an argument.
      A true friend calls you after you had a fight.

      A good friend, when visiting, acts like a guest.
      A true friend opens your refrigerator and helps himself.

      A good friend has never seen you cry.
      A true friend has shoulders soggy from your tears.

      A good friend doesn’t know your parents’ first names.
      A true friend has their phone numbers in his address book.

      A good friend expects you to always be there for them.
      A true friend expects to always be there for you.

      A good friend is someone you enjoy hanging out with.
      A [true] friend is someone you need. (Neil Diamond, Heartlight)

  3. When we honestly ask ourselves which person in our lives means the most to us, we often find that it is those who, instead of giving much advise, solutions, or cures, have chosen rather to share our pain and touch our wounds with a gentle and tender hand. The friend who can be silent with us in a moment of despair or confusion, who can stay with us in an hour of grief and bereavement, who can tolerate not knowing, not curing, not healing and face with us the reality of our powerlessness, that is a friend who cares -irish golda escalona

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