Do They Really Think Of Me As A Friend?

Below is a poem I found from The poem is titled “Good Friend vs. True Friend”. You have heard about some of the problems I’ve had with friends in my earlier posts. It was very difficult to decipher the difference between a “good friend” and a “true friend”. I wrote an entry titled “Why Did People Avoid Me”, and it described some of the mistakes I made that caused people to avoid me. I wanted that one person I considered a “true friend”, but I just didn’t know where to find that person. It took me quite a long time to realize that I am not the only one who feels like that. In fact, every single person in the world has probably felt like they don’t belong. The thing is, we all need that one person in our lives who will always look out for you and who will accept you no matter what. This poem does a perfect job showing a “good friend” vs. a “true friend”.

A good friend will tell you what you want to hear.
A true friend will always tell the truth.

A good friend seeks to talk with you about your problems.
A true friend seeks to help you with your problems.

A good friend will be there for you all through school.
A true friend will be there till the day you die.

A good friend will bail you out of prison.
A true friend will be sitting next to you saying
“damn that was fun!”.

A good friend brings a bottle of wine to your party.
A true friend comes early to help you cook and stays late to help you clean.

A good friend hates it when you call after they’ve gone to bed.
A true friend asks you why you took so long to call.

A good friend wonders about your romantic history.
A true friend could blackmail you with it.

A good friend thinks the friendship is over when you have an argument.
A true friend calls you after you had a fight.

A good friend, when visiting, acts like a guest.
A true friend opens your refrigerator and helps himself.

A good friend has never seen you cry.
A true friend has shoulders soggy from your tears.

A good friend doesn’t know your parents’ first names.
A true friend has their phone numbers in his address book.

A good friend expects you to always be there for them.
A true friend expects to always be there for you.

A good friend is someone you enjoy hanging out with.
A [true] friend is someone you need. (Neil Diamond, Heartlight)

Growing up, I really enjoyed watching the popular kid show “Nickelodeon”. Along with “The Fairly Odd Parents” I enjoyed watching the show “As Told By Ginger”. The show was about a girl named Ginger Foutley. She enjoyed writing about her experiences at Lucky Junior High in her writing journal, which she updated every day. She is a remarkable poet and a science whiz. Growing up, Ginger didn’t really have that many friends to hang out with. That changed when she got to know her three best friends…

  • Dodie Bishop: Dodie is a very outgoing person, who enjoys keeping up on the latest gossip at Lucky Junior High. She is into fashion, but doesn’t have enough money to buy all the clothes she wants. In high school, she wanted to get into the cheer-leading squad, but her coach didn’t let her on because freshman have never made it on. Dodie also tended to be a very selfish person, in one particular episode she wasn’t invited to a party that Ginger and Macie were invited to and she got very upset and them because of it. The selfishness came from her mother, Joanne Bishop, who is not the happiest character on the show. Dodie is very proud of her unique fashion sense, even though she is not as rich as Courtney Gripling, the most popular girl in school. In the episode “Far From Home”, Dodie’s selfishness really caught my eye. Ginger signed up for a semester long writing scholarship at the Avalanche Arts Academy, which was a boarding school about four hours from Sheltered Shrubs. Ginger had the impression she wouldn’t get the scholarship, but it turned out that she did make it. Dodie got very upset about her best friend being away from her. She treated Ginger disrespectfully because she seemed to think Ginger signed up for the scholarship just to hurt her feelings.
  • Macie Lightfoot: Macie met Dodie the same time she met Ginger. As many people have put it, Macie is not in the best of mental or physical health. There is a big list of foods she is allergic to, and she has many phobias as well.  Because of her many allergies, she has a very nastily voice. The most notable phobia is the fear of change. She is the more childish one in the group, because her parents are so focused on  work and not helping her during the adolescent years. Aside from her health conditions, she is very knowledgeable in many topics, one of them being science. One of my favorite episodes with Macie is the one titled “Come Back Little Seal Girl”. The three girls signed up to perform at the Lucky Junior High talent show. The little seal girl was their favorite idol growing up. The song the little seal girl sings is about friendship. Dodie and Ginger didn’t want to do the “Little Seal Girl” dance because they thought it was too childish. They voted on it two to one. Instead of the seal dance, they decided on doing a jazz dance routine. Macie got very upset about her friends breaking their tradition, because they looked up to the seal girl since they were little kids. During Macie’s act, the tape recorder broke and she sang accapella. Surprisingly, Macie won the school talent show.
  • Darren Patterson: Darren is Ginger’s next door neighbor. He is a very calm, easy going and reliable person. Ginger knew Darren before she met Dodie and Macie, because they have been next door neighbors their whole lives. Darren suffered from orthodontia, which (from what I read) is a condition that causes teeth to form on incorrect places inside the mouth. The headgear is used to move the teeth into the correct places. (That is what I read about it, please correct me if I am wrong). His older brother, Will Patterson is a very loud, outgoing popular and self centered high school student. That caused a personality conflict between the two of them. Darren eventually became Ginger’s boyfriend. That lasted for a year, until their freshman year in high school. In the episode “A Lesson In Tightropes” Darren broke up with Ginger to go out with a cheerleader named Simone. In the series finale, which wasn’t aired on television in America, they reconciled. They got married and had a child.

Ginger, Dodie, Macie and Darren were what I would consider “true friends”. They had an inability to hold a grudge against each other. There have been several instances where I had someone who I considered a “good friend”, but they would just come and go. There was one situation that I mentioned in one of my earlier posts. I started talking to a kid in my school who went to the same gym worked out at. We started talking on AIM, and we would text message each other on occasions. One night I inadvertently sent a text message to him that I meant to send to someone else, and the next day he threw a fit at me over the phone for waking him up. I explained to him that I didn’t mean to do it, but he said these exact words “I don’t care, just fuck off and don’t talk to me”. I got angry at him and started sending mean text messages to him, which got him even more angry. The only thing I wanted was a friend my age to talk to, but he held this grudge against me for something I didn’t even mean to do. Looking back, I realized that it wasn’t something I should have gotten angry about. It isn’t my fault he doesn’t want to be my friend, and it is not my fault he doesn’t turn his cell phone off or put it on silent mode at night.

There are times when it still is difficult to decipher who my “good friends” and my “true friends” are. I realize that not everybody in the world will be your best friend. My best piece of advice is to keep looking for that one friend. It may be difficult to find that one person in a hicktown similar to Sarver, Pennsylvania, but it is a bigger world than you think. There are many people out there who feel the same feelings Ginger felt before she met Dodie and Macie, so don’t feel that you are alone. When you look back after high school, these people will not mean a single thing to you.


5 thoughts on “Do They Really Think Of Me As A Friend?

  1. Derek,
    Your search will be successful. It may not happen as soon as you would like but IT WILL happen. Most of us have few true friends as you describe them.. friends DO come and change as our lives and conditions change. High School is a difficult time because you and your classmates are all searching… searching… searching. Those searches often take place in places where feelings are exposed and vulnerable. Just remember that you will find your comfort zone.

  2. Pingback: Is It Joking Or Bullying? « Dwarren57's Blog

  3. Pingback: How Do I Tell Someone I Have Asperger’s Syndrome? « Dwarren57's Blog

  4. I have found a true friend accepts who you are.
    They don’t say be yourself over and over when I am being myself.
    They don’t tell you what not too be but give you time to be.
    They also respect when you need an escape from the crowd and noise into a quiet area.
    They understand limitations of Aspergers and don’t push anything for too long.That’s what I’ve learned from my experince.
    These kind are very rare in Aspergers and Non Aspergers.
    Do they really think of me as a friend? question.
    I wouldn’t know it’s hard to understand the lines between friend and when they become friend.
    I never understood the logic of “friend”.
    It’s not a crystal clear thing that you can touch or see.
    If it was concrete and visable maybe I’d know a little better.

Leave Me A Comment!

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s