When you are in high school, labels and gossip are one of the things that you will deal with quite a bit. It really hurts when somebody talks about you behind your back, I have been through this many times myself. People spread rumors just because they want to look better than everybody else and that they want to make another person look bad around their friends or family. It’s mainly girls that gossip, but there are boys that do it also. Anytime you say something that may or may not be true about someone, or that is not any of your business, it is considered gossip. My mother is really into quilting and arts and crafts, and she has tons of friends that love to gossip about other people.
Middle school and high school aren’t the only places where labeling and gossip happen, it happens just about everywhere you go. If you are someone with a diagnosis like Aspergers Syndrome or High Functioning Autism, you especially need to learn how to deal with this. Not dealing with it in an age appropriate manner can cause you to be labeled, bullied and gossiped about even more, or even get you into trouble in the future. Dealing with gossip in an age appropriate manner will make you feel better about yourself, and it will be easier for you to make friends and to be accepted in society. I wanted to give you four simple steps that will help you deal with the ignorant gossip that you will most likely experience sometime in your life.
1.) Ignore it:
If you only hear a person gossip about you once or twice, this is really the first step you should take. At this point, telling the person that the gossip bothers you will only make them do it even more. Even looking at the person and telling them that it bothers you really won’t improve the situation. I have found this out the hard way, if you recall Eric from a few of my other blogs. There were times when he would gossip about me, and I would turn and look like I was upset with him about it. Immediately after I did that, he started laughing at me and gossiping about me even more. It was obvious that he was trying to make me feel bad by doing this, I showed him that it upset me and it mad the situation whole situation even worse.
2.) Tell them to stop:
This is especially nerve racking for someone with Aspergers Syndrome, like me. I have been through situations like this myself, which is the whole reason why I am writing about it. Sometimes, you have to step out of your comfort zone to be accepted in society and to stand up for people that who may try to bring you down for whatever reason. Try to look as confident as you can when you talk to the person, but also be polite. Talking to them in a rude tone of voice may cause them to act violently toward you, or they could make fun of you behind your back even more. Try to avoid using any swear words, because using them could get you into trouble, especially if a school teacher sees you. I also strongly recommend talking to them in person instead of online or through text messaging. In your facial expressions, the person can’t really see that what they are doing is bothering you. NEVER THREATEN THEM IN ANY WAY, IT COULD GET YOU INTO SEVERE TROUBLE IN THE FUTURE. VIOLENCE ONLY MAKES THE SITUATION WORSE.
3.) Talk to someone you trust:
If you tried ignoring the person who is gossiping about you and talking to them about it, I strongly recommend that you talk to a parent/guardian, friend or family member that you trust. The situation with Eric went on for a long time, and I finally had enough with it. When you talk to the person you trust, make sure you give them as much detail about the situation as possible. I recommend giving them information using the “wh” words. Who is gossiping about you? What are they saying? Where were you when it was happening? When did it happen? Why might they be doing it? They won’t be able to help you unless you give them as much detail about the situation as possible.
4.) Talk to an authority figure:
This is the final step you should take, you tried ignoring them, you tried talking to them, and you tried talking to a person that you trust. If at all possible, try to have the person you trust talk to the authority figure with you. Having another person help you can solve the situation quicker and without anymore problems. Remember the “wh” words I gave in the last step, and tell authority figure as much information as you gave your trusted parents/guardian, friend, or family member. Also, make sure this authority figure is someone that other people trust. There have been some bad authority figures out there, you should know who many of them were. Bad authority figures could potentially try to make the situation worse. I have also been through that, and I don’t really want to talk about it on my blogs.
My final thought about gossiping and labeling is that people who gossip, label, and tell me that I have means that they are the ones with the problems, not me. Talking about somebody behind their back shows somebody that you lack social skills and that you are immature and need to get a life. One sad things about that fact is that people that do things like this are the ones who have high authority over people. That is the sad and pathetic truth. If I was in charge of these people, I would try my best to convince them into quitting, or just fire them right off the bat. That is all I have to say, I hope you enjoyed this and I will be back later.